My World...
I hope my readers will enjoy reading my crazy look at the world. I hope Wodan will steal your heart with her charming catjumps and of course your favorite cartooncharacter Emilia who really excist as Jadie will be rocking your day with her thoughts ...
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Unworldly...
"He was shortly the director of our parents company," she tells us. She's talking about her long lost brother. After her husband passed away she started visiting her brother Frans. Her brother used to visit his sister for a needed shower, clean clothes and food. His visits were always functional. Now Frans lives in an elderly home, after living on the streets for 40 years. He went from the Netherlands to France and back over and over again. "Every time I visit Frans he won't react to what I have to tell. He closes me out. He was not always like that. We experienced a normal childhood and could get along very well."
She takes a silent moment to do some alone thinking. Then she looks at us with an intense view in her eyes and continues her story: "Sometimes I want him to ask me how I'm feeling. It feels like he gives me the cold shoulder, which leaves me feeling alone and lonely. He hurts me behaving the way he does, althought I know his intentions are never to harm me. I miss him asking me instead of the other way round. I have my sorrow, I lost my husband. I am alone in this world too." She tells us with a sob in her voice. The noise she makes with her words almost stagnate. She wants to tell her story not his. She wants to be seen by her own brother, because she arrives at a point in her life where she needs someone next to her.
"Frans owns a good heart, he never stole from someone else, has never been addicted to anything, but he seems so unworldly. He never shows his feelings, he never looks me in the eye. He only mumbles sometimes. When growing up he seemed to be so smart. He has so many talents. I feel that he threw them away with choosing the life he has lived so far."
"I'm leaving him behind. Moving away to a new place, a new home, where I can't visit him every week. But I won't leave him alone, I will check on him once in a while, althought it won't be easy. After telling him this information Frans asked me something for the first time in a very long time. He asked me why I'm leaving him alone there. Then he asked me how I structured my move to a new place."
Monday, November 23, 2009
Naughty or Nice?
The month of wishing is almost near. I'm afraid I won't celebrate December with receiving gifts. Because I'm still convinced the Dutch version of Santa, Sinterklaas, really exists here my wishing list: - Love, neverending love (not to be bought anywhere I'm afraid)
- A brand new car (please, first choice, my miniature red car is an unstable piece of junk)
- 2 tickets for a trip to the US of A in the summer of 2010 (and because the destination is known for its opportunities, anything is possible)
- Tickets to a rockconcert of the ultimate band Gossip.
Pssst. tell Sinterklaas I never begged, will you?
Friday, November 20, 2009
Help a Breathing Soul...
The following story is a continuation to the last blog entry 'Esc a Moment of Explosion.'You understand that the only thing I dare to risk is dusting the computer screen. It's time to go back to working with the clients. I'm sure I'm more patient with them...
Monday, November 16, 2009
Esc a Moment of Explosion...
Today I almost brought a computer to heaven. I'm not sure if it could get me fired, but right at the moment of explosion I didn't gave a f@#% (While phoning with the, trying-to-help-the-very-patient-lady, help desk guy he couldn't offer that overly calm lady a helping hand. He was more the desk then the help, but it gave me a HA moment. If he couldn't help me I am not screen-stupid. And while the computer network, that can only have 100 people working inside the care-system at the same time (with over 1000 co-workers along with me, that is a laugh), was running slowwwwzzzzzzzzz and did crash 8 times my frustration started to grow with every second. After I lost almost half I wrote, after the computer turned of his light again (NOOOO, I didn't save the whole damn thing. I know...) it was enough in my head. I hit the table maybe a little bit too hard, while I was ready to go for a break. Never meant, honest, I was just knocking wood for better results.
Bang, the screen did a backwards flip and with a enourmous amount of noise the computer felt on the cold floor. Oh damn, my mind went on fast thinking mode. I think I've made the problem worse. My colleague came in and died laughing. Well, you're helping me now! Right at that moment the phone rang (he worked all day). The desk guy asked, "If the problems with the computer are solved?" "Eeh, no yes no. I think I made it worse," I stuttered. "Let me see, if I can offer some more help. I did look at the complaints you told me earlier and I found blablabla.....," he went on.
More on this story soon...
Friday, November 13, 2009
No Paraskevidekatriaphobia for Me...
You, my honorable reader, are expecting a story about this day right? It's not a normal day, Friday the 13th. Despite all it's dangers, it seems to be a safe day for me.
I haven't hurt myself while showing my notorious and unprecedented clumsiness (please hide). Neither did I drop some household appliances, despite I was in the mood for a clean environment. My cat Wodan is still alive. The water of my deserved long shower was heavenly hot, and my hair did what hair needs to do (being beautiful and shine). I didn't miss the train and didn't fall between the train and the platform, althought my walk to the railway station was a hurried one. I did eat a sandwich in a lunchbar and noone saw me taking out and putting back in my temporary bracket with front tooth ("Psst, did you see that lady over there?" "Where?" "Look at her mouth, she is missing a front teeth."). Neither did I loose another tooth while biting in the cheesy sandwich. I wasn't late for a toilet visit and very lucky that my buttocks touched a clean toilet seat. My PIN pas did not forget what it's function is and with all these fortune today I'm sure the data of my plastic money card isn't copied to fraud.
I know the day is not over yet. I can still break one of my bones, but it seems like a good day for a lot of activity. While knowing myself very well, I want to make a wish. Please, give me more of these days. I embrace Friday the 13th...
I forgot to mention that I didn't saw a black cat yet. Neither did I walk behind a ladder. And without believing those crap, maybe I'm just a little more careful today.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Grow Old...
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Object of Obsession...
In my work consistant counseling techniques are necessary to create a quality based environment. It gives predictability and clarity and mostly that feeds feelings like feeling secure, self-confidence and trust in the environment. The times I am not consistant I get the ball rolling back to me at one point.Friday, November 6, 2009
Horror Party in My Mouth...
While Halloween is already over, I celebrated a horror party together with the dentist who gave me oral surgery. It was time for some horror in my mouth. Before archieving my first dental implant (and hopefully my last for quite a while) I didn't knew what to expect. And some very nice people in my environment gave me some lugrubious SOS stories. It's kinda strange why they thought they were helping me with that.So with a stomach full of nerves I went to the appointment. First dentist Frans started with some local anesthesia. The big injection needle went in my mouth and I was trying to reassure myself with some therapeutic words: "This will pass by." And indeed it did pass by, ending with a long breath inhale from my side. Then it was about time for the horror: blood, some cutting in my gums and lots of drilling gave the requirements for some loud screaming behaviour, but without the scary music and no pain the whole treatment seemed more like a medical program on television. I studied the tools that entered my mouth. It took quite a while for the treatment to finish and 90 minutes later I left the building with 8 stitches in my mouth. Still no pain the day after, only some small discomfort and a thick head that is not able to smile, which doesn't scare enough either.
Jane Fonda wasn't right with her phrase "No pain no gain." While I have to stay calm and not allowed to exercise the aerobics moves Jane created, I have a painless screw in my mouth who will take care for a "new" beautiful smile...
Saturday, October 31, 2009
How a Pumpkin Grows...
Lyrics and notes made by Brian Vogan, video animation created by Fashionbuddha all directed by Alberto Cerriteno.
Friday, October 30, 2009
On a day like this...

On a day like this
Feeling your eyes are heavy and worn
Your feet can’t show the moves anymore
Your ears can’t take the sounds coming too close
Your hands don’t want to take anymore
This day is just too cold for your face to endure
The smell overwhelms your nose too much
Your body is knocked out its weight
It’s like the air is heavy and thundered
And no one feels like you feel
All needed long sleep and tranquility
Unison and serenity in your flooting head
And no one feels like you feel
Shivering your skin
A beating headache leaves the head heavy
And no one feels like you feel
Words are confused through each other
Recipies are all differently taste
So no one feels like you feel
On a day like this
Thundering skies twirl in front of your heavy eyes
Close them, just shut them down
And let the day pass by
Let the day fall into a new day
A new dawn will give a new sky…
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Save the Best for Last...
Probably the last season of 24 will be airing in the USA starting January 17th 2010. As the Dutch tv stations are not willing to air Season 7, it's already on sale everywhere. It's a shame, because 24, with trooper Jack Bauer on demand, has a large amount of fans over here. Ofcourse I saw season 7 and I have to say it's almost as good as the best season so far (season 5). I had some doubts about a few things though, i missed some realism here and there ( I know it's just a TV Show brought out of the imagination of the writers), but it's still one of the best shows around. I can't wait for season 8 to arrive. Thanks to some friends I can watch them just a few days ahead of the American people. Jack is in the big apple for season 8 and I can only share one spoiler: Jack's a grandfather now... I do see some trouble coming close to his family, remember season 1. Enjoy the promo's from the next season that will keep us chaired infront of the telly starting at January 17th. I'm already excited! Curious whom of the cast survives a last season? Will Jack survive so there will be a movie being shot? Will it be an open or closed end? Tell me what you think...Thanks to my oink piggy friend for the emded codes and priceless banner.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
A Door to a Room...
When I open the door it's like any other. I take a good look inside and it doesn't feel like I slept in this particular room for over a decade.Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Killed or Saved?
I looked at my father with a appealing face: "Please, can I keep this rabbit? Let the doctor fix him so I can play with him." Later that day my father told his 6 years old daughter the doctor couldn't save the rabbit and had to help him dying by giving a injection. Later on in life I heard the story over and over again. The almost dead rabbit couldn't be saved on forehand and my father helped him dying fast. Somewhere in the dunes the rabbit got his grave.Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Simplicity of Words...





Thursday, October 15, 2009
Lost Direction in Life...
It's not a secret that I get lost on unknown places. So I always try to be prepared before heading to the unknown. As I seem to not really worry about get-lost-behaviour it sometimes takes quite a while to get on the road again to the planned destination. Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Clean Sheets...
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Web Flirting Part 3...
While I neglected my profile my mailbox got overcrowded. I was still amazed how that was possible with a profile without showing a picture. You see, there are some appetizing ladies on a dating site showing their best look and most appealing pose. More then there are tempting male snacks on the internet. And we're still judge based on a first look, do we? Especially when you've never exchanged one meaningful word with the person of attraction.Some guys where looking for sex, not writing it on online paper, but the obvious hints where there. Others where trying to be real romantic, looking for some long term commitment. But I didn't gave one reply, simply because I lost the online flirting attention. Until there was one guy who told me in a nicely written email he really appreciated my profile. He asked for a picure, and without giving what he'd asked for I send him a nice reply. We started with giving eachother words with humour, tempting and showing a bit of who we are.
At the same time, a colleague introduced me to a friend of hers. So there it began: dating with two guys. I felt very uncomfortable doing that. I meet both guys in one week, hoping at least one wouldn't like me at all. That way, it would be a easy choice. I played honest, so they both knew I was having a night out with the other. They both seemed to like me, and I couldn't tell either of them which I prefered based on one date. But the week after I knew that mister Internet date would win this battle. Awful, how to tell the other? My colleague was giving me a hard time with that. She was overly enthusiastic about her friend telling me what a nice couple we would become! Oh dear, I would have to disappoint him. I played that game not so well. Not reacting on his messages made it clear to him. Not a nice way and I'm still not proud.
So there was a free ground for me and the internet guy. A long story as well, but let's keep it short, we're not a couple now. We simply didn't match, but he sure was a nice and trustable guy. So single ladies and gentlemen, it is possible to find a decent date on the internet. The only advice I can give is to not take it too serious and just enjoy your virtual flirting and laugh when the girl or guy of your interest is a little different then you first imagined...
PS: I think you want to know what happened to my internet profile? Because it was a trial profile the dating site deleted it, leaving my mailbox very empty.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Web Flirting Part 2...
The first guy I meet (don't think love again), after sending emails back and forth, had a blurred picture on his profile. He changed his appearance for the better to attract the ladies, so he did his profile. This mountaineer, he climned only ones on a holiday in France, could exaggerate very well. While heading to the place where we would meet for the date, I saw him. I knew on forehand this would be a one meet date. Let's say that without some attraction it won't work. For one second I considered to walk away without introducing. But I'm still polite, so I shared some words to the climber. He looked and behaved very different then before, and I don't like fake people. After one drink I left, and althought I thought I made it very clear, mister mountaineer had a hard time believing. After a couple of weeks I had enough of his mails and text messages, With a one-way call, I made clear, in a bit of a graceless way (works, because with that he probably didn't like me anymore), not to appreciate any further contact. I felt quilty, but I was not looking for a stalker... Story to be continued...
Monday, October 5, 2009
Web Flirting Part 1...
I didn't meet my boyfriend throught internet, but it's booming in my environment. A few friends shared some virtual flirting with men, which even gave a couple of babies as well. I do believe that it's more easy to flirt and share some conversations throught internet, but personally I like to share a look (or two when it's olala) while chatting.Story to be continued...
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Furry Cuteness...






Thursday, October 1, 2009
A Car with a Heartbeat and a Lamppost without a Small Dent...

My driving instructor had such confidence in me that he predicted I would have a car accident before I owned my drivers license for one year. How true could he be? One day before the actual date a big Mercedes kissed my car in a frontal collision. My car was total loss, but I left the car with just little pain.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Necessary Purchases ...
I'm not surprised when I read that we women get very happy from buying and we prefer doing that on a day to day basis. I nod, that informations didn't require scientific research. The question is whether we need everything we actually buy? Below a list from all the things I bought today and thought I needed them, judge yourself...- A full tank of petrol... necessary? Yes, because I do have the tendency to make some extra kilometers because of get-lost-behaviour.
- A nice-looking bunch of flowers... necessary ? Yes, as a small gift for the parents of my boyfriend (I prefer not to use that other word normaly used for parents of your lover, which has nothing to do with how nice these people are).
- The new album of the Dutch artist Anouk... necessary? Honest? No, but it helped me enjoying the long trip in my car (please, can we remove roadblocks...)
- The 8 euros I had to pay to the always smiling Moroccan tailor (very cute, but I'm sure he will have a huge dentist bill. There is a chance he's suffering toothache) who repaired my shirt (I ripped the shirt on a door handle. I hear you think: how did you do that? Believe me, it's easy to do when you're as clumsy as I am). necessary? yes, because otherwise I need to buy a new shirt *wink*
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Red Glow...
Tom's Flickr account...





The copyright for these images belong to the original owners.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Patience and Silence...
Monday, September 21, 2009
My Umbrella...
While this weekend was spoiling me with lovely sunbeams and it seems like the cold is far away, autumn has already arrived. I love this season: the smell, leaves in unthinkable colours, the rainy and windy weather. My favorite and very needed accessory of autumn season is the umbrella. Enjoy a wonderful poem about ofcourse "My Umbrella" and a man with a broken heart... In the midst of falling rain, I find I’m not falling.
Poem written by Albert Ralph
Friday, September 18, 2009
You Choose...
I'm a little irresolute in my decision taking today. It even affects my blog. I was sure to share a song, but I can't choose. *Ahem* The most annoying for you, my blog reader, is that you have to choose out of two songs which song to enjoy first. More to choose for you. I hope you are more decisive then I am today. This blog entry will go in the history as not-so-well-written, so no further words will flood out of my typing fingers today. Enjoy the songs I repeat all day...Carolina Liar Show me what I'm looking for...
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Star Mania...
The moment I noticed he was walking so close towards me, my mind went a little nuts. Is he the big French Jean Paul Gaultier? Am I sure it's him? What is he doing here? Why is he alone? Are other people around me noticing that JPC is among us? Hmmm, he could work on his dress sense (and that for a fashion designer.)Friday, September 11, 2009
Rule the World...
The best band in the world, if you ask me, played a set in the Netherlands for their Viva la Vida tour. Coldplay loves this small country and feels a connection with it's nation. Honestly it's not the best live playing band, but I love the emotion they put into their music. Their melodies combined with the moving lyrics are brilliant and with that I consider them elusive for other bands right now. Almost 120.000 people saw this magical band in the city of Nijmegen. Enjoy some highlights with the songs Yellow and Life in technicolor ii...Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Stop my Fashion Heart from Beating...
After a expensive holiday, a needed new passport and driving license, and a huge dentist bill (more about that soon), I'll keep my fingers crossed for hideous fashion this fall. Fill the shelves in the shops with clothes that avoids my heart from beating. Please, let tiger leggings and cable sweaters be the trends that hit the stores, so I'm pretty sure I won't get magnetic tendencies to the changing rooms... 









