Unworldly...

"He was shortly the director of our parents company," she tells us. She's talking about her long lost brother. After her husband passed away she started visiting her brother Frans. Her brother used to visit his sister for a needed shower, clean clothes and food. His visits were always functional. Now Frans lives in an elderly home, after living on the streets for 40 years. He went from the Netherlands to France and back over and over again. "Every time I visit Frans he won't react to what I have to tell. He closes me out. He was not always like that. We experienced a normal childhood and could get along very well."

She takes a silent moment to do some alone thinking. Then she looks at us with an intense view in her eyes and continues her story: "Sometimes I want him to ask me how I'm feeling. It feels like he gives me the cold shoulder, which leaves me feeling alone and lonely. He hurts me behaving the way he does, althought I know his intentions are never to harm me. I miss him asking me instead of the other way round. I have my sorrow, I lost my husband. I am alone in this world too." She tells us with a sob in her voice. The noise she makes with her words almost stagnate. She wants to tell her story not his. She wants to be seen by her own brother, because she arrives at a point in her life where she needs someone next to her.

"Frans owns a good heart, he never stole from someone else, has never been addicted to anything, but he seems so unworldly. He never shows his feelings, he never looks me in the eye. He only mumbles sometimes. When growing up he seemed to be so smart. He has so many talents. I feel that he threw them away with choosing the life he has lived so far."

"I'm leaving him behind. Moving away to a new place, a new home, where I can't visit him every week. But I won't leave him alone, I will check on him once in a while, althought it won't be easy. After telling him this information Frans asked me something for the first time in a very long time. He asked me why I'm leaving him alone there. Then he asked me how I structured my move to a new place."

Naughty or Nice?

The month of wishing is almost near. I'm afraid I won't celebrate December with receiving gifts. Because I'm still convinced the Dutch version of Santa, Sinterklaas, really exists here my wishing list:

• Love, neverending love (not to be bought anywhere I'm afraid)
• A brand new car (please, first choice, my miniature red car is an unstable piece of junk)
• 2 tickets for a trip to the US of A in the summer of 2010 (and because the destination is known for its opportunities, anything is possible)
• Tickets to a rockconcert of the ultimate band Gossip.

I don't want to sound needy with my words, but without wishing nothing is gonna happen in life. Believe me, I sing a song every night and leave my door open for the Black Pete to arrive without giving him the extra colour, given by the contents from the inside of the chimney on the roof of my house. I try to leave naughty behaviour out of my system and be nice. There is a chance my mission to get what I need wish for myself fails. If you feel the need to play Santa for a nice person feel free..

Pssst. tell Sinterklaas I never begged, will you?

Help a Breathing Soul...

The following story is a continuation to the last blog entry 'Esc a Moment of Explosion.'

I wasn't listening to the solutions desk guy handed out to me. "Give me one moment," I asked. Together with my colleague I tried to help the computer screen survive. I needed both my hands doing that. It must have looked weird, but funny. With my body on the table and my legs in the air, a phone to my left ear and the screen, or what was left from it, in my hands I tried to lift myself and the screen higher to the office table. I told the desk guy: "The computer screen failed his not so solid position." "You need to explain that." he replied.

One hour later Mister Desk laughed after viewing the damaged computer screen. After a further look and a try-if-the-computer-shows-a-signal it seemed that the computer screen didn't lose his life and only showed some minor injuries. Damaged yes. Just like all other breathing souls he got his bruises. Damn, it had to be given by me, but I was relieved my reputation of being patient didn't got too much damaged. Mister Desk left after recommending: "Be more careful with a laptob."

You understand that the only thing I dare to risk is dusting the computer screen. It's time to go back to working with the clients. I'm sure I'm more patient with them...

Esc a Moment of Explosion...

Today I almost brought a computer to heaven. I'm not sure if it could get me fired, but right at the moment of explosion I didn't gave a f@#% (I could always blame one of the clients right). Place of explosion: the small office at my workplace. Position: right infront of the screen. Btw, who made those screens so horrible looking?

With all the delay I experienced today, if I would have used pencil and paper the progress would have been 5 times the writing I did with my fingers, I didn't achieve the deadline. And time is money and a deadline is too late too soon always.

While phoning with the, trying-to-help-the-very-patient-lady, help desk guy he couldn't offer that overly calm lady a helping hand. He was more the desk then the help, but it gave me a HA moment. If he couldn't help me I am not screen-stupid. And while the computer network, that can only have 100 people working inside the care-system at the same time (with over 1000 co-workers along with me, that is a laugh), was running slowwwwzzzzzzzzz and did crash 8 times my frustration started to grow with every second. After I lost almost half I wrote, after the computer turned of his light again (NOOOO, I didn't save the whole damn thing. I know...) it was enough in my head. I hit the table maybe a little bit too hard, while I was ready to go for a break. Never meant, honest, I was just knocking wood for better results.

Bang, the screen did a backwards flip and with a enourmous amount of noise the computer felt on the cold floor. Oh damn, my mind went on fast thinking mode. I think I've made the problem worse. My colleague came in and died laughing. Well, you're helping me now! Right at that moment the phone rang (he worked all day). The desk guy asked, "If the problems with the computer are solved?" "Eeh, no yes no. I think I made it worse," I stuttered. "Let me see, if I can offer some more help. I did look at the complaints you told me earlier and I found blablabla.....," he went on.

More on this story soon...

No Paraskevidekatriaphobia for Me...

You, my honorable reader, are expecting a story about this day right? It's not a normal day, Friday the 13th. Despite all it's dangers, it seems to be a safe day for me.

I haven't hurt myself while showing my notorious and unprecedented clumsiness (please hide). Neither did I drop some household appliances, despite I was in the mood for a clean environment. My cat Wodan is still alive. The water of my deserved long shower was heavenly hot, and my hair did what hair needs to do (being beautiful and shine). I didn't miss the train and didn't fall between the train and the platform, althought my walk to the railway station was a hurried one. I did eat a sandwich in a lunchbar and noone saw me taking out and putting back in my temporary bracket with front tooth ("Psst, did you see that lady over there?" "Where?" "Look at her mouth, she is missing a front teeth."). Neither did I loose another tooth while biting in the cheesy sandwich. I wasn't late for a toilet visit and very lucky that my buttocks touched a clean toilet seat. My PIN pas did not forget what it's function is and with all these fortune today I'm sure the data of my plastic money card isn't copied to fraud.

I know the day is not over yet. I can still break one of my bones, but it seems like a good day for a lot of activity. While knowing myself very well, I want to make a wish. Please, give me more of these days. I embrace Friday the 13th...

I forgot to mention that I didn't saw a black cat yet. Neither did I walk behind a ladder. And without believing those crap, maybe I'm just a little more careful today.

Grow Old...

Nobody wants to grow old, but everyone wants to become old. With living comes the maturity and the wisdom. It's a good thing wrinkles are free given when making those steps. That way you show you have learnt. Everybody creates their own story in life, I do believe everyone has a lot of that in their own hands. Life can be joy, but noone is excluded of tears, pain and sorrow. It's how you deal with it that creates your next moves. The next emotional video moves me. Feel the animation about a grandfather telling his life story to his grandson accompanied by one of the most beautiful piano songs I've ever heard: "Comptine d'un autre été: l'après midi", composed by Yann Tiersen (taken from the must seen movie "Le fabuleux destain d'amelie poulain.")

Object of Obsession...

In my work consistant counseling techniques are necessary to create a quality based environment. It gives predictability and clarity and mostly that feeds feelings like feeling secure, self-confidence and trust in the environment. The times I am not consistant I get the ball rolling back to me at one point.

You cannot compare my job with these special people with my homecat, but I see some resemblance. Wodan does her own thing, she doesn't seem to worry about my wishes. But she hates me reprimand her behaviour, especially when I get (played) mad with her. It makes her feel very uncomfortable. And that's the point where the intro of this story enters my home.

Object of obsession: the high cabinet in my living. It's been a obsession for Wodan since she entered my house years ago. Back in the time where I slept in the same room as my living (no, I slept in my kitchen, but that was the same room as well. Strange story, but hehe I was a student) the high cabinet was standing tall in the same space. At daylight Wodan behaved very well, but when the moon took his place in the sky leaving my eyes closed, Wodan knew it was her chance. The beautiful cabinet, got her marks. And because wooden furniture have their own lifes, with all the bruises that comes with that, I'm okay with it. But no more marks please!

In my larger palace Wodan behaved very well with all my furniture. Behaved is the word. One not too smart closed eye from my side and the high cabinet seems to be the place to be for Wodan. When she wants to jump high towards the wooden cabinet and I notice her moves she hesitate. I see the obsession and the battle she is facing in her furry body: "I'm not allowed, but I have to." The times I'm busy and not seeing her steps, she enjoys her time high up there. We're already as far that she leaves the cabinet as quik as possible when I see some furry on it. I need to stay consistant, but can you battle Wodan when she gives you her most charmed look?

Horror Party in My Mouth...

While Halloween is already over, I celebrated a horror party together with the dentist who gave me oral surgery. It was time for some horror in my mouth. Before archieving my first dental implant (and hopefully my last for quite a while) I didn't knew what to expect. And some very nice people in my environment gave me some lugrubious SOS stories. It's kinda strange why they thought they were helping me with that.

So with a stomach full of nerves I went to the appointment. First dentist Frans started with some local anesthesia. The big injection needle went in my mouth and I was trying to reassure myself with some therapeutic words: "This will pass by." And indeed it did pass by, ending with a long breath inhale from my side. Then it was about time for the horror: blood, some cutting in my gums and lots of drilling gave the requirements for some loud screaming behaviour, but without the scary music and no pain the whole treatment seemed more like a medical program on television. I studied the tools that entered my mouth. It took quite a while for the treatment to finish and 90 minutes later I left the building with 8 stitches in my mouth. Still no pain the day after, only some small discomfort and a thick head that is not able to smile, which doesn't scare enough either.

Jane Fonda wasn't right with her phrase "No pain no gain." While I have to stay calm and not allowed to exercise the aerobics moves Jane created, I have a painless screw in my mouth who will take care for a "new" beautiful smile...

How a Pumpkin Grows...

Because this day is scary enough already, here a (virtual) sweet(s) animated video about how a pumpkin grows. Happy Halloween to my English speaking readers and everyone else who feels the need to show his scariest self...


Lyrics and notes made by Brian Vogan, video animation created by Fashionbuddha all directed by Alberto Cerriteno.

On a day like this...

On a day like this
Feeling your eyes are heavy and worn
Your feet can’t show the moves anymore
Your ears can’t take the sounds coming too close
Your hands don’t want to take anymore
This day is just too cold for your face to endure
The smell overwhelms your nose too much

Your body is knocked out its weight
It’s like the air is heavy and thundered
And no one feels like you feel
All needed long sleep and tranquility
Unison and serenity in your flooting head
And no one feels like you feel
Shivering your skin
A beating headache leaves the head heavy
And no one feels like you feel
Words are confused through each other
Recipies are all differently taste
So no one feels like you feel

On a day like this
Thundering skies twirl in front of your heavy eyes
Close them, just shut them down
And let the day pass by
Let the day fall into a new day
A new dawn will give a new sky…

Poem written by Jade Isis Woodall

Image taken by Veronika Pinke

Save the Best for Last...

Probably the last season of 24 will be airing in the USA starting January 17th 2010. As the Dutch tv stations are not willing to air Season 7, it's already on sale everywhere. It's a shame, because 24, with trooper Jack Bauer on demand, has a large amount of fans over here. Ofcourse I saw season 7 and I have to say it's almost as good as the best season so far (season 5). I had some doubts about a few things though, i missed some realism here and there ( I know it's just a TV Show brought out of the imagination of the writers), but it's still one of the best shows around. I can't wait for season 8 to arrive. Thanks to some friends I can watch them just a few days ahead of the American people. Jack is in the big apple for season 8 and I can only share one spoiler: Jack's a grandfather now... I do see some trouble coming close to his family, remember season 1. Enjoy the promo's from the next season that will keep us chaired infront of the telly starting at January 17th. I'm already excited! Curious whom of the cast survives a last season? Will Jack survive so there will be a movie being shot? Will it be an open or closed end? Tell me what you think...




Thanks to my oink piggy friend for the emded codes and priceless banner.

A Door to a Room...

When I open the door it's like any other. I take a good look inside and it doesn't feel like I slept in this particular room for over a decade.

I have moved many times in my life. Until I was six years old I had slept in so many houses that I can't recall the memory to any of them. The room that was mine for such a long time is at large extent, with a giant wall cabinet that could fill all the stuff I owned. And that was so much, that many belongings where never touched by my childish hands. The walls had been white, pink and now they still shine yellow. One door fell out of the wardrobe when a small earthquake suprised the small village. That is still to be seen, because the opening showes a few of my old clothes. The rest of the space is adopted by my mother, showing the many clothes she ownes. The notice board showes a badge with my name, a quote from Loesje which reveals my once insecure nature (who am I to doubt myself) and a sock. I cannot remember why a sock needs to be expanded on a notice board, hmm I sure was a weird teenager *grin*.

The bed belonged to my grandmother. I was very proud to sleep in it, because she was the first person in my life that gave me the feeling that I was very special. I have known her for just a few years and was very sad when she passed away in 1984. The room has an awful closet standing. White colored and while my father adviced me to look further for another one, I had to have it. I begged for it so often (to speak of a spoilt child) my father couldn't ignore it. Inside it shows the many figurines I owned. Figurines of cats, horrible. My taste changed for the better over the years!

Ursa Major shines to me from the ceiling. The sink is showing the make up belonged by my mother. Infront of the blurred mirror I squeezed out the many pimples my forehead showed to the outside world back in my youth. A dusty table, I made with my own hands, keeps himself standing in the room and my eldery stereo installation, of which you can't hear its notes anymore, doing its best to take the dust inside. When I moved out, back when I was 21, there was little I took with me. I left with some clothes and my precised saved domestic trousseau.

Many times my feet entered the room after I moved out of it. Mostly filling my head with childhood memories. The good, the bad and the ugly ones. Standing there now, it feels like just a room of someone that I've known very long ago. Determined I close the door I opened thousands times before...

Killed or Saved?

I looked at my father with a appealing face: "Please, can I keep this rabbit? Let the doctor fix him so I can play with him." Later that day my father told his 6 years old daughter the doctor couldn't save the rabbit and had to help him dying by giving a injection. Later on in life I heard the story over and over again. The almost dead rabbit couldn't be saved on forehand and my father helped him dying fast. Somewhere in the dunes the rabbit got his grave.

Today I killed a rabbit. The busy area where I work is crowded with them. And while we human expand our habitat, that doesn't help these cute furry bunnies. Slowly they moved further and further to the big road. I've seen so many little unmoving bunnies, still recognizable by the big ears. It seems like there is still a huge population, because I see many very alive bunnies hopping around. You know, they know how to reproduce themselves.

While it was already dark I finished a day with enough work. Satisfied I was heading home in my car. A bit on the way I saw the rabbit moving from one side of the road to the other. That wouldn't have been a problem if he would have been able to walk fast. But the bunny dragged along his leg. And right at that point my car hit the little bunny. I heard the wheels of my car driving over the bones. Oh dear, I think I killed Miffy...

Life's Waiting Room...

Quote taken from the animated movie "Waking Life"

Image creation Jade Isis Woodall

Simplicity of Words...

As much as we intend to choose a book by giving the cover a good look, I also read a paragraph in the inside. It's about the selected words, the ones that move me. They make me decide to pick up the book from the shelter and let myself drown in the simplicity of words. I'm sure that, as well as show a kind of association and identity, has given photographer Mickey Smith the creative idea to photograph covers from books that show a certain message. It's not only about the words, check out the materials that are used, the colours and the mutilation that emphasize the usen words. As Mickey tells herself: "I seek out and photograph these titles as I find them on the shelves of public libraries. I do not manipulate, light, or touch the books, preferring to document them as created by the librarian and positioned by the last user. Searching endless stacks, I am continually struck by physical mass of information and tenuousness of printed works as they fade from public consciousness. The irony and graphic quality of repeating titles fascinate and draw, no matter how mundane, from known to obscure, from Vogue to Blood. I photograph titles that are flirtatious, utilitarian, and personally or socially symbolic." Take a look at the collected books from Collocation in the next library shelters and remember: sometimes one word (combined with one look, or need I say one cover) tells more then thousands...

Lost Direction in Life...

It's not a secret that I get lost on unknown places. So I always try to be prepared before heading to the unknown. As I seem to not really worry about get-lost-behaviour it sometimes takes quite a while to get on the road again to the planned destination.

It gets different when a little time pressure comes playing around. At those moments I get stressed. While I was heading to the appointment, in a city I've never been before, I got lost. I had asked quite a few people, but noone had a map of the city in his head. "I hate to be late," I grumbled while I walked in the wrong directions over and over again.

Then my eye noticed a homelessness. I have nothing against waifs and strays, the other way is that I don't feel sorry for them either. He looked quite good for a homeless person, but it was sure a man of the street. If he didn't know where the street of my appointment was, who would? I walked towards him and asked what I needed on information. And yes, ofcourse he could give me a helping hand. Right. left, right: easy to remember and not far away. As I thanked him and wanted to walk further, I was already too late, the tramp asked me something. Buying a cookie for his night homeless shelter? Well, why not. You helped me I help you. I took my wallet and gave the guy 2 euros. The man can smile! His face showed a huge grin. "That's enough for my dry night," he told me. And while I was waiting for the cookie to arrive the tramp walked away in a kind of floating way...

PS: 2 hours later I saw the same homeless person again. Again selling cookies, more floating then just moments before. I'm curious if he really slept in a dry inside area that night or if the alcohol kept him warm. While I lost every sense of direction, this man lost every direction in his life.

Clean Sheets...

One of the best stop motions I´ve seen so far, guided by the wonderful song ´Her Morning Elegance´ from Oren Lavie.

Web Flirting Part 3...

While I neglected my profile my mailbox got overcrowded. I was still amazed how that was possible with a profile without showing a picture. You see, there are some appetizing ladies on a dating site showing their best look and most appealing pose. More then there are tempting male snacks on the internet. And we're still judge based on a first look, do we? Especially when you've never exchanged one meaningful word with the person of attraction.

Some guys where looking for sex, not writing it on online paper, but the obvious hints where there. Others where trying to be real romantic, looking for some long term commitment. But I didn't gave one reply, simply because I lost the online flirting attention. Until there was one guy who told me in a nicely written email he really appreciated my profile. He asked for a picure, and without giving what he'd asked for I send him a nice reply. We started with giving eachother words with humour, tempting and showing a bit of who we are.

At the same time, a colleague introduced me to a friend of hers. So there it began: dating with two guys. I felt very uncomfortable doing that. I meet both guys in one week, hoping at least one wouldn't like me at all. That way, it would be a easy choice. I played honest, so they both knew I was having a night out with the other. They both seemed to like me, and I couldn't tell either of them which I prefered based on one date. But the week after I knew that mister Internet date would win this battle. Awful, how to tell the other? My colleague was giving me a hard time with that. She was overly enthusiastic about her friend telling me what a nice couple we would become! Oh dear, I would have to disappoint him. I played that game not so well. Not reacting on his messages made it clear to him. Not a nice way and I'm still not proud.

So there was a free ground for me and the internet guy. A long story as well, but let's keep it short, we're not a couple now. We simply didn't match, but he sure was a nice and trustable guy. So single ladies and gentlemen, it is possible to find a decent date on the internet. The only advice I can give is to not take it too serious and just enjoy your virtual flirting and laugh when the girl or guy of your interest is a little different then you first imagined...

PS: I think you want to know what happened to my internet profile? Because it was a trial profile the dating site deleted it, leaving my mailbox very empty.

Web Flirting Part 2...

The first guy I meet (don't think love again), after sending emails back and forth, had a blurred picture on his profile. He changed his appearance for the better to attract the ladies, so he did his profile. This mountaineer, he climned only ones on a holiday in France, could exaggerate very well. While heading to the place where we would meet for the date, I saw him. I knew on forehand this would be a one meet date. Let's say that without some attraction it won't work. For one second I considered to walk away without introducing. But I'm still polite, so I shared some words to the climber. He looked and behaved very different then before, and I don't like fake people. After one drink I left, and althought I thought I made it very clear, mister mountaineer had a hard time believing. After a couple of weeks I had enough of his mails and text messages, With a one-way call, I made clear, in a bit of a graceless way (works, because with that he probably didn't like me anymore), not to appreciate any further contact. I felt quilty, but I was not looking for a stalker...

Story to be continued...

Web Flirting Part 1...

I didn't meet my boyfriend throught internet, but it's booming in my environment. A few friends shared some virtual flirting with men, which even gave a couple of babies as well. I do believe that it's more easy to flirt and share some conversations throught internet, but personally I like to share a look (or two when it's olala) while chatting.

In the time I was between men (oh dear, that sounds like I'm a serial which I'm not) a friend signed me in on a dating site. I wasn't so happy with her step at first, but her enthusiasm and a why not attitude changed my mind. I refused to put my picture on my profile, and even without that I got so many desperados who responded, which amazed me. Like 99% gave me a eek and oh no feeling.

The first guy I kinda liked (don't think love) already dated 25 ladies, who he meet throught cyberspace. Not one girl gave this lovesearcher a second date. That's a sign, but hehe I had fun chatting. The moment he talked about children I didn't react for a month. This guy was looking for a egg to fertilize as quik as possible. A big NO, was a resume of my reaction, when my mailbox got flooded with loveposts from this father-to-be. I insist the man in a e-mail not to speak about kids before, and also not do the same on, a first date...

Story to be continued...

Furry Cuteness...

Who can resist a ball of wool looking like this? Wodan: healthy, happy, and a bit naughty again, but still very lazy. BTW, happy animal day to your furry friend on October the fourth...

A Car with a Heartbeat and a Lamppost without a Small Dent...

Last week I almost had a car accident. Almost is not the same as entirely, so after my heartbeat was on it's normal rhythm I felt relieved (think capital). My biscuit tin of a car was having trouble with his heartbeat. He totally forgot how he to keep running his engine. After questioning my boyfriend I learned my car froze due to some problems with a low oil level. Or something like that. Well, my mind is not filled with knowledge of my small square pastry.

The person in the green bin, who almost hit me, was so rude to continue his journey immediately. And that while he was the reason why my car was spinning on the road. That was what upset me the most. Because all drivers know we all do make mistakes while being on the road, but to walk away (read drive away) for responsabilities is a shame.

My driving instructor had such confidence in me that he predicted I would have a car accident before I owned my drivers license for one year. How true could he be? One day before the actual date a big Mercedes kissed my car in a frontal collision. My car was total loss, but I left the car with just little pain.

Unfortunately I caused myself a unilateral accident 5 years ago. Or shall I blame the bad weather conditions which turned the roads into glipper slides. As a sleigh I drove my car against a lamppost. My car was total loss, the lamppost did not even own a small dent...

Necessary Purchases ...

I'm not surprised when I read that we women get very happy from buying and we prefer doing that on a day to day basis. I nod, that informations didn't require scientific research. The question is whether we need everything we actually buy? Below a list from all the things I bought today and thought I needed them, judge yourself...

• A full tank of petrol... necessary? Yes, because I do have the tendency to make some extra kilometers because of get-lost-behaviour.
• A nice-looking bunch of flowers... necessary ? Yes, as a small gift for the parents of my boyfriend (I prefer not to use that other word normaly used for parents of your lover, which has nothing to do with how nice these people are).
• The new album of the Dutch artist Anouk... necessary? Honest? No, but it helped me enjoying the long trip in my car (please, can we remove roadblocks...)
• The 8 euros I had to pay to the always smiling Moroccan tailor (very cute, but I'm sure he will have a huge dentist bill. There is a chance he's suffering toothache) who repaired my shirt (I ripped the shirt on a door handle. I hear you think: how did you do that? Believe me, it's easy to do when you're as clumsy as I am). necessary? yes, because otherwise I need to buy a new shirt *wink*
  

Red Glow...

I do love Sydney, Australia. A relaxed metropole with a stunning skyline. And besides London and New York my favorite city, althought I've only been there for four days. A storm has been sweeping over Sydney september 23, leaving it's recognizable buildings intoxicated by red dust. The dust came all along from central Sydney, think Uluru heading to New Zealand right now (75000 tons per hour). It covered everything on it's way: the harbour bridge, Opera house and Bondi beach. Flickr member Tom Coates had this amazing idea to organize pictures coming in about this nature dust on Flickr and spoils us with his beautiful gallery full of images. Enjoy some here and check the rest on
Tom's Flickr account...

The copyright for these images belong to the original owners.

Patience and Silence...

Een moment geduld a.u.b. It's Dutch for a moment of patience, please. Or in better English: one moment, please. The producers of these graphic designs, from Trendbeheer, used everyday materials found around the house to build installations. For me it does have a second message. I hope it gives a moment of silence for you as well...

My Umbrella...

While this weekend was spoiling me with lovely sunbeams and it seems like the cold is far away, autumn has already arrived. I love this season: the smell, leaves in unthinkable colours, the rainy and windy weather. My favorite and very needed accessory of autumn season is the umbrella. Enjoy a wonderful poem about ofcourse "My Umbrella" and a man with a broken heart...

In the midst of falling rain, I find I’m not falling.

Cats and dogs don’t hound me.

Rain clouds roll by.

Storm clouds piled high.

My umbrella, keeps the falling rain from drowning me.

Hold me close! See me flying!

Red skies, do not mourn for me.

Sailors worry, Jailors scurry.

But my umbrella keeps the falling rain from washing me away.

It’s been said to me,

That a smile should be your umbrella.

Well I suppose that it may be true,

But it goes much deeper than that.

Because a smile is just another coat you wear,

But the rain chills to the bone.

So from now on I’ll be wearing my smile,

Right next to my heart.

Because a broken heart can cause a lot of pain,

But a broken smile is a smile all the same.

And broken dreams can drive a man insane,

But a broken umbrella still holds out some rain.

Rain oh rain cloud, Pass away now.

Come on back another day,

Cause my umbrella wants to play.

In the midst of all my pain, I find, I’m not hurting.

No longer all wrapped up.

A new wind stirs now.

My mind it clears now.

Nows the time to catch the sun before it flies away.

Hold me close! Let’s go flying!

Blue skikes soaring in your eyes!

Take my hand now.

No need to land now.

Sailing, drifting, wings of love can carry you and I away.

It’s been said to me, that a smile should be your umbrella.

Poem written by Albert Ralph

You Choose...

I'm a little irresolute in my decision taking today. It even affects my blog. I was sure to share a song, but I can't choose. *Ahem* The most annoying for you, my blog reader, is that you have to choose out of two songs which song to enjoy first. More to choose for you. I hope you are more decisive then I am today. This blog entry will go in the history as not-so-well-written, so no further words will flood out of my typing fingers today. Enjoy the songs I repeat all day...

Carolina Liar Show me what I'm looking for...

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David Gray It's not easy to be me...

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Star Mania...

The moment I noticed he was walking so close towards me, my mind went a little nuts. Is he the big French Jean Paul Gaultier? Am I sure it's him? What is he doing here? Why is he alone? Are other people around me noticing that JPC is among us? Hmmm, he could work on his dress sense (and that for a fashion designer.)

I don't see myself as a starfucker. When I was a little girl I visit a show of a famous Dutch magician. I got his signature on a tissue. Convinced that I would always keep the signed tissue, I lost it and never missed the inked paper snotty. When I was 16 years old I went to my first rock concert from the New Jersey band Bon Jovi. Not a fan, but being with a friend who screamed every word and moved with every beat, I helped making it more hysterical by imitating her way of behaving. Jon shaked our hands, leaving Ilse numbed and me laughing at her (our) total madness.

I do love fashion, but I never liked his cone-bra he designed for Madonna's Blond Ambition Tour neither do I j'adore his perfumes. They are too strong, and his clothes are showing the wearer too much on the foreground. I think that is how he sees women: as wonderful strong females who are worth to be seen. More then he wants himself. Inconspicuous his appearance walked further. And me? I let him alone, but I'm still reminding this peu de temps. Why else would I write about it if it ain't important?

Rule the World...

The best band in the world, if you ask me, played a set in the Netherlands for their Viva la Vida tour. Coldplay loves this small country and feels a connection with it's nation. Honestly it's not the best live playing band, but I love the emotion they put into their music. Their melodies combined with the moving lyrics are brilliant and with that I consider them elusive for other bands right now. Almost 120.000 people saw this magical band in the city of Nijmegen. Enjoy some highlights with the songs Yellow and Life in technicolor ii...

Stop my Fashion Heart from Beating...

After a expensive holiday, a needed new passport and driving license, and a huge dentist bill (more about that soon), I'll keep my fingers crossed for hideous fashion this fall. Fill the shelves in the shops with clothes that avoids my heart from beating. Please, let tiger leggings and cable sweaters be the trends that hit the stores, so I'm pretty sure I won't get magnetic tendencies to the changing rooms...

Ofcourse, donations are always welcome, if this fall the fashion will be unexpectedly delightful.

Sharing the Prey...

As I wrote last year there is one household task that is not on me. And that's hunting and catching all the flies, spiders and all other vermin that enters my house. I prefer the vermin to disapear (in her mouth) as well, so I will stay in the full belief that there is no hairy little dirt in my house at all. It's on Wodan and she does it with grace. First she announce that there is some beast that is able to be hunt for and the next moment her environment has to watch out for her legs and nails, including me. This is to be seen in the wonderful animation new video from Simon's cat. Ofcourse slighty enlarged, but still very corresponding with the hunting abilities of our furry friends. Does that include sharing the prey?